![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSfmrshpObsi-Ftyg6Tx69sFYFwwJg5ZB3SXEZ_0V9la1e12lKz9iSK40hc5dncIKEY6SsPMDWT2AiGzNw1VD8eG-oqsigCoBJahEq0fAHivMrMB5FUNH6KoeR-9KxCdTsplzvb7CjJsI/s320/6825_1035595465556_1695541930_73590_6058512_n.jpg)
While it seems as though I was happy, I remember the exct moment and time this pic as taken. I was hurting badly inside, physically and emotionally. Despite being extremely thin, at the time I thought I looked HUGE in that bikini. About 25 minutes after this pic was taken, I went back to my room and changed into shorts and a sweatshirt. I couldn't stand the though of anybody looking at me in that bikini,I preferred covering up. Even though it was 100 degrees outside, I wore a sweatshirt and felt more comfortable.
Fast forward to the girl I am now. I am happy, truly happy. When I smile, it comes from within, not because I have to. because I want to.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHeN8nG3l0S7zy-PNBFgd8AM0Wd4gDOcDaaKrgoRkDAUdELW9xll45CLDXC8yN1srI3qoAJhI-570ca6wEYl_uO91DvZkPeSa9YbQkuIcVORZVg34FTyXhV_b_KQbydw66urQLNbzpvD0/s320/11468_1053770999933_1695541930_112898_3197718_n.jpg)
I love being goofy, I love having my pic taken now, I eat healthy now, I feel so good physically and emotionally now. I love being able to go out with my great friends and actually enjoying myself
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOqkqoEzdviYN1hyphenhyphenkHbf8CF-UNAw4RyvAbTY9B-_9I9OIJYeKYM7XY82SDrjvO3kXrcGlZOT8ZPKizHUBtSxmjAyBwGxfqoqFjUowBRQTZpsgH6CHGkAQGrUju-hdrMV8gVkwrT5xtHes/s320/5576_1034699643161_1695541930_72044_4923806_n.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA5Gny5t2dLzIWORx-3E0VwRfszSd-EFg5u1o8Fcz6VrcE9qg3jQL-TXy4mFuuTB2KxUMEpvAwrGKN2CVZxgzxIUuAWDc1mS6jfb8IlmbL2I208ZPFOMxm_6ln97EANBfNsyotZRXnn0M/s320/5496_1030606420833_1695541930_63838_2344131_n.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibkOVn59xvCyoauD2m0mYLmh5Dd7bcQSUrAJPnNyKp0HWcFw-Itsvzax-bNufC9v4ci6dLy1UlhfkzKxWkj3Rb-VosId-K9x3oSU4wzb_2chViuW_d_9GRrXkZ7szC3YCOajCltlUkmrA/s320/18561_1089397330569_1695541930_180637_4620416_n.jpg)
I am truly grateful to have an amazing family, they have supported me 100% through everything.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNABYmPQOmeIJMK_11RgjuqL2JVd1HOIwh02jxZCCSEGi0_kXYjpLtAjD6WsNaNnFSABeZkXWGyUYo1iGiwpaGMlp5lktDUdIs4EiGbKSiDebFrScj86XdwzrQXr8ZvyVGx7fNxDRw18M/s320/4315_1135761762179_1471400766_2224694_4414996_n.jpg)
(those are my cousins in the pic with my parents and I :)
I no longer count calories, I no longer worry about how I look in clothing, I no longer fret if I miss 3 days of working out, I no longer suffer from depression, I no longer weigh myself 40 times a day. I still work with a nutritionist monthly because like I said, it is a daily battle. But it's a battle I am winning. the past 3 months have been the best for me so far, even though I have went through some of the toughest times in the past few months, my break up and my mom being diagnosed with breast cancer, I feel like it hasn't set me back from beating this. I feel full of life and excited about the future.
I just hope for anyone else who is suffering from an ED, that you can reach out for help. I know it's hard, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I relapsed a few times, but I fought on. you can too.
On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
xoxoxooxoxoxxooxox