Friday, February 26, 2010

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week

In lieu of National Eating Awareness Week I decided to a post dedicated to it. A lot of people asked me via Springform to post a pic of me at my lowest weight, I really don't like the idea of doing that because it may be a trigger for some people and seeing those pics make me very sad. Then I decided it might be ok to post one, then post some recent pics, to see how I've conquered this head on. I still struggle, some days are good some are bad. The only difference is, I now know how to handle the bad days. Here is a pic of me almost at my lowest weight a few summers back. This was NOT my lowest weight, I prefer not to post pics of those because they really are awful.

While it seems as though I was happy, I remember the exct moment and time this pic as taken. I was hurting badly inside, physically and emotionally. Despite being extremely thin, at the time I thought I looked HUGE in that bikini. About 25 minutes after this pic was taken, I went back to my room and changed into shorts and a sweatshirt. I couldn't stand the though of anybody looking at me in that bikini,I preferred covering up. Even though it was 100 degrees outside, I wore a sweatshirt and felt more comfortable.

Fast forward to the girl I am now. I am happy, truly happy. When I smile, it comes from within, not because I have to. because I want to.

I love being goofy, I love having my pic taken now, I eat healthy now, I feel so good physically and emotionally now. I love being able to go out with my great friends and actually enjoying myself

I am truly grateful to have an amazing family, they have supported me 100% through everything.

(those are my cousins in the pic with my parents and I :)

I no longer count calories, I no longer worry about how I look in clothing, I no longer fret if I miss 3 days of working out, I no longer suffer from depression, I no longer weigh myself 40 times a day. I still work with a nutritionist monthly because like I said, it is a daily battle. But it's a battle I am winning. the past 3 months have been the best for me so far, even though I have went through some of the toughest times in the past few months, my break up and my mom being diagnosed with breast cancer, I feel like it hasn't set me back from beating this. I feel full of life and excited about the future.

I just hope for anyone else who is suffering from an ED, that you can reach out for help. I know it's hard, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I relapsed a few times, but I fought on. you can too.

On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!



Haley said...

you look amazing now, way better than sick. But you know this. What an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

i'm so glad that you are happy and healthy now! you're gorgeous!

Sarah @ Keep On Keepin' On said...

Congrats on the courage to post the picture. You look amazing these days. Reading your blog made me, for the first time, think about how being on either side of the weight fence is equally daunting, and very much similar. Hope you keep up the healthy work!

Gabriela. said...

That was a wonderful post, Christina!
I´m glad you feel much better now - healthier!
Have a great weekend!
Brazilian XOXO´s,

Anonymous said...

*Sigh* :)

If I was a boy, I'll totally be in love with you :p

You're sooo beautiful! You look so much happier and alive ^^


Norwego said...

You look so beautiful now. Stay healthy and happy.

Krissy said...

Beautiful post! I'm so glad you had the strength and courage to overcome your struggles! You are absolutely beautiful and full of life! Never look back! xoxo

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, you are SO SO strong. You have come such a long way in your recovery and I am SO proud of you. Of course every day is going to have its struggles, but now you know how to handle them in a healthy way! Love you!


Syl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Syl said...

thank you for sharing your very painful real life story with the world. And also thank you for sharing that through darkness you can find light and happiness.

You are so beautiful christina! And so many of us are so proud of you including me. Keep being the person you have created!

GurlOnA"Diet" said...

you look so much more beautiful now! it's very inspiring- it is always a battle. but it's a WINNABLE battle.

lpskins said...

Very brave of you. Such a beautiful woman with an uplifting spirit!

Tracey- said...

Love this post-- you have come so very far. And I hope you realize how much MORE BEAUTIFUL you are now, than in that first pic. You are gorgeous! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

It's great that you are healthy now! That is such a difficult disease to conquer. You are beautiful girl, way to share your story. :-)


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