Back and Better Than Ever

I got out yesterday, but I was just too tired to post anything! Let me just start by saying that I am feeling 100% and have a whole new outlook on life! I feel absolutely amazing.

I cannot wait to go back to work tomorrow, catch up on all your blogs!

So I have to do tons of grocery shopping today, as I have NO food in my place at all. I have a great list of food to get from the nutritionist at the hospital.

I can't believe tomorrow is the first day of September!! Almost Fall already



The summer just flew by! The one thing I truly love about September is Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes!! They come out tomorrow! I LOVE them . Luckily I have a Starbucks right next to my work.

So today is going to be a chill day, since I have to work all week. I'm going to go to the mall and get some coffee and maybe go to Chapters book store and just walk around. Then do some grocery shopping. The weather here is still beautiful and warm :)

Well, I will post more this evening after dinner, I'm going to catch up on blogs, then head to the mall. :)


I missed you guys and I'm glad to be back!!! Thanks for all your encouragement and nice posts. I came home to some wonderful e mails :) xoxoxoxxoxoox

Hiatus

Hey everyone! I will be taking a one week hiatus from blogging. I am going to an inpatient facility for a week to get my eating in order before it gets out of control. I can only do 1 week due to work. So I'm hoping it's the kick start I need to move on.

Everything has been so out of control lately. Seems like the breakup has just hit me, even though it happened weeks ago :( Work is great, as usual, I love my new job :) They are more than happy to give me a week off.

So I leave in the morning and will be there till Next Sunday morning. My parents have been greatly supportive through this :) My mom has been feeding me like you wouldn't believe :)

So fear not! I will be back :) I have no access to a computer there as they don't allow it.
So I will update next Sunday when I am out.

Thanks for all your awesome, supportive comments in my last post :) I really appreciate it :)

Bye..xoxoxoxoox

Diagnosis..not too good

Just came back from my therapist..I am really going back to my old ways. The ED is starting to take over again and she is worried. She wants me to keep a food journal for the next week, recording everything I am eating and at what time. I haven't done this since I was really sick :( She wants me to try to consume at least 1200 calories per day..no less. That's tough for me. How do you all get in your calories? I work 8 hour days, so does the bulk of the calories come in at dinner? I don't know. I'm still learning how to eat properly. I only have a 25 minute lunch, so I can't fit too much in there. Breakfast is usually really rushed, so usually just a green smoothie. In the past week, I have lost 9 pounds..in 1 week! this is not good! I'm also not sleeping too well.

Even today, I've only had a green smoothie and a Lara Bar so far. And it's 3:30! I just don't feel like eating, but I know I have to. Just a few weeks ago I was on a healthy eating regimen. Now...it's all gone :( It's like my brain is telling me not too eat. Ugh, so frustrating! I haven't told my parents, because I know they will make me move home pronto. I don't want to have to go to a recovery center again. It's just too much.

Sorry for the somber post...On the upside, I am going to a small get togetehr tonight at my friends, and that is kind of cheering me up. I will for sure update later this evening or tomorrow after work.


Thanks for listening :) xoxoxoxo

Eating Woes

Hey! Sorry I haven't posted since Saturday, but the truth is, I have been having a lot of trouble with my eating habits. I fear I may be heading back to my old ways :( A lot of it has to do with the break up, starting a new job and so on. So today is a day off of work and I am going to see my therapist. I haven't had a "fear" of food for quite sometime now, but recently, everytime I go to eat something, my ED kicks in and tells me that it's too fattening, too many carbs, too much sugar..then I honestly get scared off of the food and walk away. I'm only getting around 500 calories a day right now, which is soooo bad.

I'm off to my therapist now, I will update when I get home :) xoxoxox

Is It Fall already?!!

Yes, the weather here right now is very fall like. Chilly during the day, and cold at night. I even saw some of the trees changing colors already. As much as I love Autumn, I am so not ready for summer to be over yet!!!

I had a great day of work today :) My training is almost over, I am really loving my job :) It's so much fun. Today I bought some more makeup..a palette from NARS





It's so nice! I can't wait to try it out :) Yesterday I got a few hair extensions, they aren't really noticeable, I didn't want anything to bold. Here's a pic with the extensions



My eating habits have been really bad the past few days, I've been living on green smoothies and coffee. Not good, I know. I never have time to make a lunch, my fault though, I wake up at the last minute! I basically have all fast food places around me, so I don't really go out for lunch, so I just grab a coffee. I did have an oatmeal from Starbucks today, it was actually really good.


It pretty much filled me up till lunch.

This evening I went to the mall and bought a new outfit, a summer outfit, cause I just know that we will get more hot weather "fingers crossed".


Oh that's an awful pic, but that's the outfit..ha ha. Anyways, off to bed soon..another day of work tomorrow..then 2 days off! I have to get my eating on track, I always say that, but I really have to. So I'm getting up 45 minutes earlier tomorrow so I can have some oatmeal :) and make a wrap to have for lunch.

Hope you all have a great weekend!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Writers Block...... I don't think so :)

This will be a jumble of things..ha ha. I had a great day off of work today :) went and bought some MAC eye shadows


Normally I shy away from bold colors, but I thought I'd use these just for work :)
I hit up Whole Foods, did a massive shop. Got a lot of Sabra Hummus, Flat Out wraps, Ezekiel Bread, Lara Bars galore, A few Luna bars, a HUGE watermelon, 2 bags of spinach, 5 Almond Breezes, about 15 bananas(ha ha), 4 zucchinis,Kashi Cinnamon Harvest Cereal (my absolute new fave), coffee and a big bag of avocados, 2 Maranatha Almond Butters!!, along with some household items(like laundry soap and so on).

I then walked to the library after I put away my groceries, took out Anna Karenina, I've never read it. Anyone read this? How was it? I was going to get Angela's Ashes, since I had seen the movie a few years ago, I loved it, and also Heather is reading it!, but it was out :(


For dinner I had a flat out wrap with tons of veggies and hummus. OMG it was good. I also drank a Diet Coke, which I know isn't good for me, but I was craving fizzy and it was in my fridge. I also just finished of a can of Amy's Black bean soup. Yum.

I spent the majority of the day alone, all my friends were working :( But it was relaxing!

I did something this afternoon that I NEVER do..something that used to be so taboo for me when I had my eating disorder. I made the mistake of going into Starbucks while I was ravenous this afternoon, I had a hard core workout in the morning and it made me sooooo hungry, I didn't ant to eat till I got home, so I went up to the counter to get a cappuccino and instead, my hunger and sweet tooth got the best of me and I got this



A grande Java Chip Frappaccino, whip and all. I felt so guilty after I drank it :( Then I realized that I don't normally drink stuff like this, and it's alright. It wont kill me to drink one :) I have to admit though..it as heavenly :) But no more now for like 2 years!!!!

I really do want to try these though


Especially the vanilla!

Anyways, off to bed soon.work in the morning! Have a great night!! xoxooxoxoxox

Another Great Day

Hello! work today was awesome! I'm really loving working there!! I have tomorrow off and I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I only worked 4 hours today because they were training 2 other girls.

I'm finally back to eating normal. I had some yummy oats for breakfast with flax and blueberries..it filled me up till 1 o clock. Lunch was a Peanut Butter Cookie Larabar, a vanilla Activia yogurt and a venti cappuccino from Starbucks. Yum. I only had 20 minutes for lunch :(

Today after work my friends picked me up and they threw a congrats for your new job and congrats on being single, get together. ha ha. it was nice. Here are a few pics.












My friends are so sweet :)

I came home about 7 and I was famished..I made this recipe..it was quick and delicious

Fusilli Pasta with Roasted Tomatoes and “Hidden” Zucchini



Ingredients

6 plum tomatoes, halved lengthwise
2 teaspoons 365 Everyday Value Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
1/2 cup 365 Everyday Value Grated Parmesan Cheese, divided
1/4 cup chopped basil
1/2 pound 365 Everyday Value Organic Whole Wheat Fusilli
2 zucchini or yellow squash, grated
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Method

Preheat oven to 400°F. Arrange tomatoes on a large parchment-lined sheet tray, cut-sides up. Drizzle with oil; season with salt and pepper. Scatter 2 tablespoons Parmesan and 2 tablespoons basil evenly over top. Roast until juicy and bubbling, about 20 minutes; set aside. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add fusilli and cook until al dente, 10 to 12 minutes. Drain and transfer to a large bowl. Add zucchini, lemon juice, remaining 6 tablespoons Parmesan and 2 tablespoons basil. Toss to combine. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Divide pasta onto four plates, top with tomatoes and serve.

Tomorrow I'm going to head to the gym for an hour, get a great workout in. Then head to Whole Foods for some shopping. and then to M.A.C. to get some makeup. My discount doesn't kick in for a few more weeks :( so M.A.C. it is. I'll take some pics of what I get!

Heather at Health, Happiness and Hope has an awesome giveaway here check it out!!!!

Have a great Night all..chat tomorrow!!

xoxxoxooxoxo

First day

Hello! Today was my first day at Sephora..and I LOVED it !!! So much fun, my co-workers are all awesome :) I only worked 5 hours today, just training, and another 5 tomorrow. I brought my camera and was going to take pics but my boss was around pretty much the whole time.
It was very busy in there today too :) I had tons of fun!
I didn't eat too much today, my nerves were getting the better of me..I did have a massive green smoothie for breakfast though. Dinner is just going to be a simple veggie wrap.

I found some pics online of the all I am now working at. it's called Pacific center and it's right in the middle of the city! I Love it





The mall looks small in these pics, but it really is a huge mall.

My headache finally went away at 2am! It as awful. I hope I never gt one like that again. I'm craving ice cream big time..I don't usually buy ice cream/frozen yogurt, so could you all recommend some? the healthier(I'm not sure there is healthy ice cream)? The better.


xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoox

Headache :(

Hey everyone! This will be a short post..sorry haven't posted in a few days...I've had a massive headache since yesterday afternoon. I've tried everything to get rid of it. I seriously need it gone by tomorrow..my first day at SEPHORA!!!! If anyone had any suggestions on getting rid of a headache..other than pills, cause I've taken so many..please send suggestions!! thanks. I'm going to nap..again and will update tonight if I am feeling better :)

HeartBreaks and belly aches

Yup, I got both. First off, I met with my ex this afternoon..AND..his new girlfriend! :(
I mean, what a shock, felt like I was kicked in the stomach. Who knows how long this has been going on! I didn't ask, because I honestly didn't want to know. I cried a lot after that. Thank god I had my friends with me.

I've also had a terrible stomach ache all day. I think it's just from all the stress lately. I still ate per usual though. I had the most wicked bowl of cereal with frozen blueberries and almond milk for breakfast. I then did level 3 of the 30 day shred. after that was a massive green smoothie! Spinach, Almond Milk, Cantaloupe, 1 pack of Amazing Grass, a banana and tons of blueberries.

For lunch, me and my friends went to this wicked vegetarian restaurant where I ordered the Veggie pad Thai.



Oh my goodness it was good, and HUGE..despite my sore belly, I managed to eat almost the whole thing. My friend got the cashew Avocado Enchilada, equally delicious.

Then we headed off to the public Library, which I love. here is a pic of our Library in Vancouver, it's amazing



I seriously love that place. There are stores in there, restaurants. amazing.
Here's a pic of a small part of the inside



Sorry, i just love that place. And Vancouver! I was thinking of posting pics once in awhile of my fave spots in Vancouver. Let me know what you think!

Dinner was just a box of Annie's Mac and Cheese. Love it. Also had one too many glasses of wine :)

I still have my tummy ache..and my heartache, but hopefully they will both be gone soon! I am so excited for Tuesday!! I cannot wait.




yay! Even the uniform we get to wear is cute! I'll post a pic when I get mine :)

Anyways, off to watch some more movies, going to watch Little Black Book and Match Point. Anybody seen these?

Have a great night xoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Good Evening Ladies

I'm slowly but surely feeling a little bit better. I have some friends over and we are going to watch


and



I have never seen either. I think I'm going to veg out for the weekend and watch movies :) If you have any recommendations for movies, please share!!! I love all kinds of movies..even scary!

I went to Wal-Mart this afternoon to look for lavash bread, and of course they don't have it. Canada has nothing, seriously. I then went to Whole Foods, and they still don't have the new flavors of Lara bars..grrrrr.

So the boy called a few hours ago, an he's gonna meet me tomorrow to explain why he ended the relationship :(. I wasn't going to go meet him, but I really need to know why. It bothers me a lot.

I haven't been eating as much as usual due to the stress of all that's been going on, my tummy has been in knots. I did have a baked sweet potato for dinner though. Delicious. I had 3 green smoothies today!! Love them.

As for exercise, well there was none today. I needed a rest so I took one. Tomorrow I'm hitting the gym though for an hour. Then resume my normal healthy eating.

I can't believe I go for training at Sephora on Tuesday!!! I'm a little nervous, anxious and very excited!! I'm so glad I applied there. Another great thing is that the mall it's in is where my best friend works, like 2 stores down from me, she works at the Benefit Cosmetics counter!. It's going to be great.

Off to drink some coffee(decaf) and watch some movies and chat :) I hope you all have a great weekend.

PS..Heather..I can't wait to see your hair!!!

Moving On Slowly

The last few days have been so depressing :( But my friends took me out last night and I really did have a good time. I haven't even talked to "him" since he decided we needed a break. he gave absolutely no reason for it, which is what frustrates me the most.

Doesn't matter, I'm going to get on with my life. Without him. Cause guess what???

I GOT THE SEPHORA JOB !!!!

They call this morning :) I start training on Tuesday. I'm so excited!! I get employee discount on all that glorious makeup! I told them about my upcoming trip to England in October, and they gave me 2 weeks off, they were totally cool with it. I'm off to Wal Mart right now to hunt down some Lavash bread. I really don't think they sell it here in Canada though :( Boo. We have nothing. Here are a few pics from last night. I had a good time..I was still pretty sad inside, but my friends are so awesome!!! so are you guys! Thanks for the kind words :)





Will post an update later :) Have a great Friday :) xoxoxoox

Break

So this afternoon, out of the blue, my boyfriend decides that we should take "a break". I don't know the reason why, he wouldn't say. Ugh. My heart is hurting right now. :(
Update later this evening.

Food, Food and more Food

Told ya I'd be back! I've eaten so much in the past few days..healthy stuff though!
Heather!! The other night I made the baked sweet potato..YUM! I bought 5 sweet potatoes, so I'll definitely be making these often. It was so good.

This morning involved a lot of this



and this



I've been craving cereal so much. I've been eating Kashi Cinnamon Harvest with frozen blueberries, yep, I love frozen blueberries in cereal! and coffee? well I'm little addicted ;) and cause it is so chilly right now.

I've also been frequently taking huge spoonfuls of this


I just got the crunchy kind, and it's official, I'm addicted :)

Dinner tonight was this

Tofu and Sesame noodle Salad



Ingredients

1/4 cup reduced-sodium tamari
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
1 tablespoon agave nectar
1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic
2 teaspoons hot chile sesame oil
Salt to taste
1/2 pound dried pad thai-style rice noodles
1 cup thinly sliced green onions
2 small carrots, thinly sliced
1/2 English cucumber, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 (6-ounce) package baked tofu, cut into 1-inch cubes
Cilantro sprigs
Method

In a large bowl, whisk together tamari, sesame seeds, agave nectar, garlic and oil to make a dressing; set aside.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Meanwhile, soak noodles in a large bowl of cold water until pliable, about 15 minutes; drain well. Add noodles to boiling water and cook, stirring occasionally, until just tender, about 6 minutes. Rinse thoroughly in cold water, drain and transfer to bowl with reserved dressing; toss well.

Add green onions, carrots, cucumbers, peppers and tofu and toss gently to combine. Transfer to bowls, top with cilantro and serve.
Nutrition

Per serving (about 7oz/196g-wt.): 330 calories (70 from fat), 8g total fat, 1g saturated fat, 0mg cholesterol, 860mg sodium, 50g total carbohydrate (3g dietary fiber, 7g sugar), 13g protein

I have tons of this leftover, so that will be my lunch tomorrow. It as super duper good. Try it!!

I've also been snacking on tons of

and



And that's about it. Hope you are all having a great week!!!!!

PS

Does anyone have a fax machine or have access to one? I if I forward you an e mail that I need faxed would you be able to do it? I have no access to any fax machine at all:( thanks !!

Things are looking up!

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, been sooo busy! First off, my doctors appointment went very well :) I have absolutely no problem at all with my heart. I may have just been over doing the exercising. I have to learn that I don't need to exercise 7 days a week. I am so happy about this !! I worked out this morning on the treadmill and everything was perfect. I just need to take time off hen my body is tired.

I have been applying for jobs like a crazy person..I've had 4 interviews in the past 2 days. 2 were at travel agencies and one was at a clothing store and the other, which was this morning, as at SEPHORA !!!! You can't even imagine how much I love that store!! I know this isn't the travel industry, but I am kind of looking for something a little different now. The interview must have went well because I got a call back about 25 minutes ago!! I really hope I get this job!! Fingers crossed.

I also decided to go back to school in January, Hotel Management. I love hotels, travel and anything to do with it. Weird I know. This is a course I have wanted to take for awhile now. I'm very excited about it. It's 9 months long. can't wait! I applied yesterday, so I'll see what happens and let you all know :)


I also got my low lights in my hair the other day. I think it looks a little dark, but i also think it looks a lot better than the platinum blonde. Here are a few pics of it from yesterday. Let me know what you think!





my hair is a mess cause we were swimming..ha ha.

The weather here has taken a total turn, So chilly now. No more 100 degree heat! I kinda can't wait for fall. My fave season!

No food in this post, but i will make a food post this evening..with some awesome recipes!!


xoxooxooxoxoxoxooooxoxo

PS..hope you all like the new header :) It's the Vancouver skyline!

Much Needed Rest day

Today was such a relaxing day. I did not exercise, waiting to see my doctor. I felt kind of guilty about missing a workout. Regular exercise is so addicting :) Me and my boyfriend watched Legally Blonde last night. I love that movie so much, I love Reese Witherspoon so much too!

Breakfast was scrambled egg whites and some toast. I haven't had toast in so long, I forgot how good it was!

Dinner, once again was from the Whole Foods website :) I plan my meals for the whole week around the recipes on their website. This recipe was super delicious.

Vegetable Lo Mein



Ingredients

3/4 pound lo mein noodles
Sesame oil (start with a small amount)
1/4 cup hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons canola oil
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
4 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic (about 3 cloves)
1/3 cup sliced scallions (green onions)
1 cup julienne carrot (2 large)
1 cup thinly sliced celery (1-2 stalks)
1 cup thinly sliced red onion (1 medium)
3/4 cup fresh bean sprouts
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Method

Cook the lo mein noodles in boiling salted water until al dente. Cool. Toss lightly with sesame oil to prevent sticking.

Combine the hoisin and soy sauces in a small bowl and mix well.

In a wok or a large skillet heat 1 tablespoon canola oil and quickly sauté the ginger, garlic and scallions until they release aroma, then add the carrots, celery and red onions and briefly sauté before adding the bean sprouts, about 2 minutes.

In a separate medium skillet, heat 1 tablespoon canola oil and sauté the noodles. When they are hot and look pan-fried or lightly browned, add them to the other sautéed ingredients in the large pan. Add the soy-hoisin mixture and stir to coat. Sprinkle with the chopped cilantro and serve.
Nutrition

Per serving: 188 calories (5 from fat), 1g total fat, 0g saturated fat, 0mg cholesterol, 739mg sodium, 43g total carbohydrate (2g dietary fiber, 41g sugar), 8g protein

I didn't add the Hoisin sauce because I really don't like it. Still delicious. I also didn't have those cute little boxes! I really don't take my own pics of the food I make simply because when i do, they look so awful! They make the food look gross! My noodles looked nowhere near that nice! I occasionally manage to get a good pic, but not too often. You all take such awesome pics of your meals, I'm jealous!!

So today I was thinking of getting some low lights in my hair, I think it may be a little too blonde. I notice that in pics. This one was taken today (don't mind my weird hair do, we were teasing our hair for fun) I looked at it and immediately thought..TOO BLONDE.



So yes, Tuesday I'm going to go in and get it warmed up a bit. Maybe like a dirty blonde :)

Hope you all have a great Monday!!! I'll let you kno how it goes at the doctors! xoxoxoxoxooxoxo

Saturday night at home

Yes, boring, I know. Not a thing to do tonight, so I'm staying home with the boy :)
So this morning I went back to the gym for a quick workout, and once again, same as yesterday, my heart rate was far above 200 5 minutes into my treadmill workout :( It did this 3 times. I eventually went up to the trainer and asked her what could be causing this..I did tell her about my history with anorexia, and she said that because of the damage that was done to my heart when I had anorexia, it could be affecting it now. She thinks I am working it to hard and to see my doctor before I do anymore exercise. so now I'm going to go see him on Monday. I hope all is alright :(

On the upside, I took my vacation pay and bought an ipod shuffle in pink! They are a lot cheaper than the nano, which is what I had before. It's just as good though, and I'm happy to have an ipod again :)

I also went and bought one more summer outfit, which I modeled for you all



Ha, ha, My boyfriend took this about half an hour ago. :)
I cannot believe that all the stores have their fall clothes out already! barely any summer stuff. And guess what i saw today? HALLOWEEN CANDY!! already in August? ha ha.

This morning breakfast was oh so delicious oatmeal. I love it so much :)
I had a huge green smoothie for lunch with Almond Milk, Amazing Grass, 3 cups of spinach, a banana and some cantaloupe. Yum.

Dinner was a homemade black bean burger with these

Herb-Roasted Sweet Potato Skins



Bake the potatoes until they are just tender and still a tad firm so they don't turn to mush and fall apart. These potato skins are a great side dish to meat, tofu or salmon.
Ingredients

4 medium sweet potatoes, halved lengthwise
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, plus more for oiling
3 tablespoons chopped parsley
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried sage
Salt and pepper to taste
Method

Preheat oven to 400°F. Pierce potatoes all over with a fork then arrange on a greased foil-lined baking sheet, cut sides down, and bake until tender but not mushy, about 30 minutes. Transfer to a plate and set aside until cool enough to handle; reserve foil-lined baking sheet.

Arrange a rack in the oven about 6 inches from the heating element and preheat broiler. Scoop about half of the potato flesh from the skins, leaving a 1/2-inch thick wall around the edges and bottom of each half. (Reserve scooped out flesh for another use.) Cut each sweet potato shell lengthwise into 1/2-inch strips then arrange on the same foil-lined baking sheet in a single layer.

In a small bowl, combine oil, parsley, oregano, rosemary, thyme, sage, salt and pepper then brush all over potato skins and broil until browned in parts and piping hot, 4 to 6 minutes total.
Nutrition

Per serving (4.5 oz/125g-wt.): 170 calories (70 from fat), 7g total fat, 1g saturated fat, 2g protein, 24g total carbohydrate (4g dietary fiber, 10g sugar), 0mg cholesterol, 190mg sodium


Ahhh, these were so good!!! I used some organic ketchup, was delicious. Even my boyfriend loved them. He does NOT like veggie burgers or black bean burgers at all though! He loves his red meat.

Off to watch some movies and relax now! Have great weekend!!! xoxooxo