Just came back from my therapist..I am really going back to my old ways. The ED is starting to take over again and she is worried. She wants me to keep a food journal for the next week, recording everything I am eating and at what time. I haven't done this since I was really sick :( She wants me to try to consume at least 1200 calories per day..no less. That's tough for me. How do you all get in your calories? I work 8 hour days, so does the bulk of the calories come in at dinner? I don't know. I'm still learning how to eat properly. I only have a 25 minute lunch, so I can't fit too much in there. Breakfast is usually really rushed, so usually just a green smoothie. In the past week, I have lost 9 pounds..in 1 week! this is not good! I'm also not sleeping too well.
Even today, I've only had a green smoothie and a Lara Bar so far. And it's 3:30! I just don't feel like eating, but I know I have to. Just a few weeks ago I was on a healthy eating regimen. Now...it's all gone :( It's like my brain is telling me not too eat. Ugh, so frustrating! I haven't told my parents, because I know they will make me move home pronto. I don't want to have to go to a recovery center again. It's just too much.
Sorry for the somber post...On the upside, I am going to a small get togetehr tonight at my friends, and that is kind of cheering me up. I will for sure update later this evening or tomorrow after work.
Thanks for listening :) xoxoxoxo
18 hours ago