National Eating Disorder Awareness Week

In lieu of National Eating Awareness Week I decided to a post dedicated to it. A lot of people asked me via Springform to post a pic of me at my lowest weight, I really don't like the idea of doing that because it may be a trigger for some people and seeing those pics make me very sad. Then I decided it might be ok to post one, then post some recent pics, to see how I've conquered this head on. I still struggle, some days are good some are bad. The only difference is, I now know how to handle the bad days. Here is a pic of me almost at my lowest weight a few summers back. This was NOT my lowest weight, I prefer not to post pics of those because they really are awful.



While it seems as though I was happy, I remember the exct moment and time this pic as taken. I was hurting badly inside, physically and emotionally. Despite being extremely thin, at the time I thought I looked HUGE in that bikini. About 25 minutes after this pic was taken, I went back to my room and changed into shorts and a sweatshirt. I couldn't stand the though of anybody looking at me in that bikini,I preferred covering up. Even though it was 100 degrees outside, I wore a sweatshirt and felt more comfortable.

Fast forward to the girl I am now. I am happy, truly happy. When I smile, it comes from within, not because I have to. because I want to.



I love being goofy, I love having my pic taken now, I eat healthy now, I feel so good physically and emotionally now. I love being able to go out with my great friends and actually enjoying myself








I am truly grateful to have an amazing family, they have supported me 100% through everything.


(those are my cousins in the pic with my parents and I :)

I no longer count calories, I no longer worry about how I look in clothing, I no longer fret if I miss 3 days of working out, I no longer suffer from depression, I no longer weigh myself 40 times a day. I still work with a nutritionist monthly because like I said, it is a daily battle. But it's a battle I am winning. the past 3 months have been the best for me so far, even though I have went through some of the toughest times in the past few months, my break up and my mom being diagnosed with breast cancer, I feel like it hasn't set me back from beating this. I feel full of life and excited about the future.

I just hope for anyone else who is suffering from an ED, that you can reach out for help. I know it's hard, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I relapsed a few times, but I fought on. you can too.


On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

xoxoxooxoxoxxooxox

Back again!

Hey all! Ugh, so sorry for being away so long. Work has been insane, I've been heading out to a ton of Olympic events :) Now a relaxing night at home.
First off..I will answer some of the questions I got on Springform. There were so many nice ones, but also a few mean ones :( Here we go..

1.What do you use on your hair? shampoo and conditioner wise. It's so beautiful? And do you get it dyed professionally?

A Thank you!! I basically as of ltely have been using this Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner. Makes your hair super soft and smells so good!
I also put in some Frizz ease Serum after washing and conditioning. I do get my hair colored professionally. I have tried it myself at home, and it was a disaster!

2. How has your mom been doing since she was diagnosed with breast cancer?

A. My mom is doing good right now :) she is going through treatment. She has good days and really bad days :( Lately she's been really good :) She's eating super healthy and I even got her into making green smoothies everyday!

3. I love your makeup girl! What kind of makeup do you use? Specifically foundation/powder? Your skin looks so nice.

A. Awww, that's so sweet! Over the years I have switched to many different kinds of foundations. I used to use MAC foundation religiously, but for the past 5 months I have been hooked on this , Makeup Forever's HD Foundation. It's so amazing! makes my skin look so good. It is a little pricey but it lasts quite a long time :) I don't really use face powder, I'm really not a fan of it.

4. Are you in a relationship at all? Sorry if that's too personal. A. Ha ha, not too personal at all :) Nope, I am happily single! I plan to stay that way for awhile :)

5. Do you count your calories? If so, how many do you consume per day?
A. Nope, I don't count calories anymore. When I had anorexia, counting calories was all I did, and it was so addicting, I wrote down every single calorie, even if it was a grape. So bad. So now I just eat whatever I feel like eating and not worry about the calories. I think it's important to count calories if you need to lose weight, but I'm still in the process of gaining so I just don't do it anymore :)

I will post 5 more questions and answers tomorrow.

I'm heading to the movies tonight with some friends to watch Shutter Island :) Hopefully it's good! I saw Valentine's Day last week and it was pretty awful. I was really disappointed :(

For dinner I am making a Boca Burger with hummus and tomato! also making some baked sweet potato rounds! yum.

I'm off to eat and head out! I will update when I get back with a review of the movie!!!

xoxoxooxxooxoox

Olympic Madness and Ask Me Anything!

Hey Loves!!! It has been such a busy week so far at work! I work right downtown Vancouver and with the Olympics going on, it is a madhouse! I got the opportunity though to see some of the events, including the mens figure skating last night! It was so amazing!

I have been keeping up with my P90x...did my fave, the plyometrics yesterday and am just going to do some yoga tonight :)

I have been eating a lot of junk food the past few days :( Including a HUGE Bratwurst from the German pavillion here. I'm sure it wasn't the healthiest choice, but it was delicious!

I am currently baking a sweet potato for dinner. I am getting so impatient for it to cook because I am ravenous! What do you guys use for toppings on your baked sweet potatoes? I don't usually use anything, but am open for suggestions for toppings!!

I am also jumping on the bandwagon of Ask me Anything! So go ahead and ask away! Be nice though!!!




I leave you with a few pics from the other night of me and a few friends at a concert at an Olympic venue..they are seriously silly. Sorry for the short post but I am RAVENOUS!!







xoxoxoxo

Birthday, P90x and Grocery Shopping!

Good Evening Fellow Bloggies! Once again I have been away far too long :(
It as my birthday on Monday, and I didn't do too much, just hung out with a few friends and went out to dinner :) It was quite a nice night :) I got a few great gifts also, some gift cards to Whole Foods, which is good because I spent all mine from Christmas :)
I also got a beautiful new pink duvet for my bed..looks something like this



I LOVE pink! Anything pink! Might I add, I found this pic quite awhile ago, and it is so totally my dream kitchen...


Click for bigger beauty!

Ya, girlie I know, but I LOVE pink.


Dinner yesterday was super duper delicious! Baked sweet potato wedges and chicken breast. YUM.



Tonight was equally delicious, being a baked sweet potato, grilled salmon and some sauteed spinach.

Then off to Whole Foods I went to get a few necessities. Mainly Oatmeal!! Almond Butter and I got a ton of Lara bars and Luna Bars. Grabbed some yogurt also while I was there...I really really wish Canada carried Greek Yogurt! We don't have Fage, Oikos or Chobani :( Sigh..maybe one day! Also got some Allegro coffee beans..so good! and some Almond Breeze. The gift cards came in handy for this haul :)

So last week I started the P90x workout..and all I can say is..WOW! These workouts are so AMAZING! I LOVE them (well the ones I've done). They are tough, but I feel so good after I do them! so energetic. I absolutely LOVE the Plyometrics workout, It's easily my fave. Then the Shoulders, biceps and triceps workout. Amazing! I did the yoga workout last night, wow, that was a brutal one. Very advanced yoga moves, therefor very tough..but I did it, I finished it :) Felt great after wards.

I highly recommend this workout system if you enjoy working out at home (as I do). It's great so far. Tomorrow I am going to try the Ab ripper. Ugh, should be interesting. I'll let you know how it goes ;)

So I am off for a nice, hot bubble bath, and to check out some more of your blogs :)

I leave you with a few pics from B day night..nuthin too exciting :) Enjoy.






It was a new dress, but I didn't really like it too much :( What do you all think?

xoxoxxooxoxo

Short and sweet

hey everyone!!! I am back! I was sick for quite awhile, then the past week my computer broke down so I had no computer :( Got a new one 2 days ago :) So I'm back in business.

This will just be a short post cause it's bed time shortly, work in the AM. I've been trying to get used to this new computer for the better part of the evening.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had mono. Was awful, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone! I am 100% better now :) Been eating a TON of Oatmeal.



Oatmeal has really became one of my fave foods, I could eat it every meal! I ate so much of it during my Mono, it as really easy on my sore throat :) I also downed a ton of green smoothies while sick..and LOTS of H2o :)

Last night, for the first time in 2 weeks, I went out to celebrate a friends birthday and I felt sooo good after being sick for so long. I will leave you with some super silly pics at the end of this post ;)

And finally, I was kinda getting sick of doing the 30 Day Shred, because I have been doing it for so long now, my dad bought me the P90x...I'm so excited to try it!!! I think I may give it a go on Saturday. Anyone else try this? What would be the best one to start out with? There are so many! I kinda want to try the Plyometrics.

Off to bed now..Sweet Dreams everyone!




Yup, I'm a goof, but I was just feeling so much better :)








xoxooxoox

Still here and Alive!

Will be posting tonight! I've missed all you guys so much!!! Update this evening :)


xoxoxoxo