Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thunder and Lightning

That's what we had all day here. Awful :( I had such a blah day, I wish I could kick this eating disorder out to the curb and say "see ya". As I mentioned before, I have really bad days, today was definitely one. I didn't eat till 6 and probably only consumed about 900 calories. Not good. I am so afraid to relapse. Afraid of letting myself down, and my family and friends. Ugh. Sometimes I catch myself counting calories, and wondering how many carbs I am consuming. Carbs are tough for me, they used to be my real "enemy". I do try to eat them though, I managed to eat a pretty good dinner at 7..salmon and white rice, which is something I haven't eaten in years, but I was for some reason really craving it.

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Not a great pic, but it was soo good. Tomorrow I am get getting back on track. I can't fall into this Eating disorder trap again. I was looking through my bookmarks on my computer, and when I had my eating disorder full force, I was part of a pro anorexia group online. Ahh, yes. One of those. i was reading some of my posts from back in the day. Pretty sad stuff. I have come so far since then, and I can't go back to that!

So enough of the gloom! I did not manage to find a camera yet again, I think I may have to wait till my next pay cheque. They are so expensive! On the bright side, I went to Superstore today and they began carrying this for the first time!!

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This is the first time I have ever seen this in Vancouver! We have very limited Kashi products here. They were also on sale for $3 a box. I bough 2 of them. I'm gonna try a bowl in the morning, I'll tell you what I think of it! The small organic store that i sometimes go to is the only place I could find Synergy drinks, No thy don't sell them anymore :( Whole Foods doesn't even carry them! Right when I was falling in love with them too! The boyfriend is coming down in awhile and we are going to watch some movies, not too sure what yet though. Update tomorrow..hope you are all having a great weekend!!!! xoxoxoxo


stilettolover91 said...

That salmon looks sooooo good!!!! I want some!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you had such a rough day. Hang in there and stay strong!

Hooray for Kashi products. Hope you like it!


Em said...

Im sorry you had such a rough day girl. hang in there! <333

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you had a bad day! When you find yourself looking at those websites just come read some food blogs and look at all of the delicious foods.. maybe it'll make you hungry!

I love salmon! How did you make yours?

Devan Geselle. N said...

stay strong girly :)

kashi cinnamon harvest is definatly my FAVORITE... so far :) haha
I bought two DOUBLE boxes at coscto for $7 each!! yeahhh(y) i like it kind of "soggy" in vanilla almond milk, and warmed up! :) haha strange, but good.

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

Thank you for the nice comment and for stopping by my Blog. I have never suffered from an eating disorder and I wish you all the best with your struggle. The fact that you are aware of it and taking steps not to relapse is amazing. Hope you had fun with boyfriend..

Johanna B said...

Sorry about the difficult day. I hope that the fact that you haven't posted since then is a sign you are working hard on maintaining your recovery. You are in my prayers. Hope that doesn't sound too sappy.

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